Last week I wrote about creating habits that will help you make the changes you want to make in your life. I wrote that when you say something out loud it becomes real. But to whom should you say it? Who should you share your goals with?
For years accountability groups have helped people change their lives in deep and meaningful ways. From weight loss groups to 12-step programs, people have gathered together, encouraged one another and witnessed dramatic life-altering changes in others and in themselves.
So this should work anywhere, right? Unfortunately, that’s not the case. As sad as it is to think about, not everyone wants you to succeed. Sometimes it’s borne out of their own insecurity. Your friend is worried that if you make that career change you won’t have time for them anymore, if you lose that weight, you’ll find a new group of friends. They may not overtly sabotage your efforts. It will be subtle, and they may not even know they are doing it.
“Come out with us. That job will be there tomorrow.”
“Have some cake. It’s my birthday!”
Other times, people will undermine your efforts out of concern for you, wanting to protect you from some imagined pain.
“Are you sure you want to go back to school at your age? That’s going to be a lot of work.”
There will be people close to you who will try to hold you back. Having the right people hold you accountable is critical to your success. Think about the common denominator in the accountability groups mentioned above. Each person there wants to make a change in their lives, but you don’t need someone who is making the same change you are. Let’s look deeper. What do people in the accountability groups have in common underneath the external change they want to make?
A growth mindset. A belief that their lives can be different. That’s who you need in your life.
Who is that person for you? Who is that person who will be honest and encouraging, who will hold you accountable, believing that you can accomplish what you set out to do?
Share your thoughts in the comments.
Patrick Day 