DAMN IT!

So, it’s been interesting since my mom died last month.  In a lot of ways life has gone back to normal.  Back at work.  Kids are back in school.  Dog still barks at squirrels and people and cars and trucks and well, nothing much at all.

In other ways it hasn’t.  We spend a lot of time at the ice rink in this family, so I would frequently call her during one of the boys’ practices. Can’t make that call anymore. Those are the things that grab me.  Those times when I’m reminded that this is real; she’s not coming back.  This is the new normal.

A couple weeks ago I was home by myself, trying to get a few things done before the kids got home from school.  The phone rang. The conversation went like this:

Me: Hello?
Him: Hi, my name is Daniel with Acme Healthcare.  (They also sell anvils and giant slingshots.)
Me: Daniel, I’m not interested in anything you have to sell today.  Thank you.
Daniel: I’m not selling anything.  It’s a program you already have.
Me: Excuse me? (I’m not covered by Acme Healthcare.  Curious.)
Daniel: Yes. It’s a program called Home Calls. Your mother is eligible.
Me: Dani..
Daniel: Yes, once a week we will send a healthcare professional to visit your mom and make sure she’s doing okay.  We just need to schedule…
Me: Daniel.
Daniel: We just need to schedule a time when someone can come do an assessment.
Me: Daniel, that’s going to be tough to schedule.
Daniel: Why’s that?
Me: She’s DEAD!
Daniel: DAMN IT! I am SO Sorry.

As soon as I heard him say those words something occurred to me.  He had no idea who he was calling about.  He didn’t make the list.  He was calling a number on his computer. That’s all.

I could have been kind.  But I wasn’t.

Be kind.  You won’t regret it. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, but not once have I thought, “I wish I hadn’t said those kind words to that person.”

Be kind.