As I’ve said before, I don’t have any magic words that can change anyone’s life. I don’t have four easy steps to your best possible self. However, there is one phrase that I have found to be incredibly helpful over the years. Three words that can shift a conversation and change the direction of a relationship.
TELL ME MORE.
You had a rough day? Tell me more.
Your boss is out to get you? Tell me more.
TELL ME MORE.
I have found this phrase to be helpful for many reasons, but here are the two most impactful.
- It tells the other person that you are not only listening, you are engaged and invested in what is on their mind. You are neither being dismissive, nor are you rushing to a solution.
- I cannot tell you the number of times I have had someone come to me to discuss one issue, and as they told me more, we discovered that the presenting issue was not really what they were struggling with. Had we focused on the presenting issue, we would have addressed a symptom of the problem, not the problem itself. Inviting them to tell me more enabled us to get to the heart of their struggle.
What phrases or questions have you found that help move a conversation to a different level? I would love to hear them.
Peace.
Patrick Day 